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I think of jetBlue as a company with new comfy planes, no first class, plenty of leg room and nice little TVs. I love flying with them and was excited when they joined with American Express to offer a jetBlue card. I’ve been using the card for the last few years, earning rewards flights.

The only problem is the award system was masterminded by a supervillain. And it’s all in the fine print.

1. Points don’t expire*.

They sure don’t. But your earned rewards do if you don’t book them. They expire after a year. JetBlue’s response to this is simply, “You don’t have to fly within the year, you just have to book the flight”. I wonder how many PR execs it took to come up with that one. That’s a very nice way of saying, “we’ll give you an extra 6 months”.

2. You’re second class on a classless jet.

Unlike most other airline mile programs out there, you can only use your earned rewards for designated seats on each flight. The number of reward seats given to each flight is a mystery. JetBlue only guarantees that there is at least one (and maybe more will open up). However, on popular flights or times, that’s unlikely.

What this means is that a flight that still has open seats cannot be booked with your earned reward (which took you around $20,000 spent to earn). Right now, I am trying to book a flight 6 months in advance and all direct reward seats are taken (see below).

When you earn miles on other airlines, you use them for the same exact seats that other people buy. They are treated like cash and truly make you feel like you earned something.

3. Customer service doesn’t like it either

Customer service with jetBlue didn’t budge for me when I tried to get on a flight with my reward. Instead, they said:

• Why don’t you just leave the day before and come back the day after (Work usually doesn’t allow me to leave on a Thursday and come back on a Monday)
• You can book it now and pay all types of fees to change the date. My free flight isn’t so free anymore.
• And finally, acceptance. They know it sucks and say it’s going to change soon. But my rewards are expiring now and no other information is given.

4. Compromise

You can obviously still use your reward, but it takes compromise. You need to either change your dates, go at weird hours or take unnecessary connections to keep the flight free.

And to think, I get all this by paying an annual fee of $40. Goodbye jetBlue card.

5. Examples

These screenshots taken today are very familiar to any jetBlue’er.

It’s the same thing over and over again. If the date is within a month, good luck! You usually aren’t offered any flight.

Chase has figured out how to recoup their losses, and it’s ingenious. Don’t give out money, but pretend like you did.

Let me explain.

I went to an ATM today and requested forty dollars. I don’t know if I’m the only one, but every time I’m at an ATM I have an irrational fear that it’ll screw up the counting and nobody will believe me when I try to correct the mistake. I always think this, but of course, it has never happened.

Today was worse. It said, “Please take your cash” and did not give me anything to take. I didn’t request a receipt, because they always end up in the trash two seconds later.

A woman saw my confusion and said, “Did it not give you your money? That happened to me. You need to make like 10 calls to your bank, a few calls to the number on the ATM and it’s all super annoying, but you’ll eventually get your money back.”

I went into the Duane Reade that houses the ATM (for those who don’t know, Duane Reade is like a CVS or Walgreens) and told the manager that the machine was broken.

He said, “Sorry, we can’t put a sign on the ATM. Chase doesn’t allow us to.”

I was stunned. Not only do I have to go through this hassle, but every person for the rest of the day will also get screwed.

Now, here’s the best part. The fact that you have to jump through hurdles to get your money back makes it just like mail-in rebates. There’s simply some percentage of people that will not bother or forget about it. At that point, it’s turned into free money for Chase. Woo! Financial crisis over.

I don’t actually believe this was their motive, but it’s quite ridiculous that they won’t allow employees to mark the machine out of order. Then again, are banks sleazy enough to have thought this through?

We’re all familiar with Jared and how he used to wear whale-sized pants. They also cram down our throats how Subway is so much healther than fast food, with such gems as below.

But here’s the real skinny (in three lovely varieties).

Pizza

Subway has added pizza to their menu. The side of their cups proudly compare your subway sandwich to the Big Mac (540 calories). The most basic pizza starts at around 750 calories and up (which cannot be found on their site, but luckily is required on NYC menus).

That’s 200 calories more than a big mac. I could eat a Cheeseburger (300) + Large Fries (500) for about the same as the “healthy” subway food. Sure people realize that pizza is unhealthy, but by promoting health in their commercials and stores, people will by association, assume Subway’s pizzas are healthier.

The $5 footlong

Subway now offers a footlong sandwich for $5. In New York, some 6 inch sandwiches actually cost more than the $5 footlong. It’s fiscally responsible to eat more.

Chips + drink

Every time you buy subway, no matter what you get, you’re offered a chips and drink combo. They also just recently decided to bump up the size of a subway cup from huge to ginormous.

The news of the new iPhone is exciting, with probably the only drawback being the required 2-year contract (which we’re all so desensitized to, it barely matters).

However, one place it may matter are iPod sales. The new iPhone pricing is now within the realm of iPods. Apple has sold over 140 million iPods, and although sales are decreasing, they are still selling well. In order to avoid cannibalizing their iPod sales, the 2-year contract was introduced.

Even if you don’t want the phone part of the iPhone, you would still get a portable player of videos, music, internet and now real GPS and applications (such as games, location aware stuff, etc). It’s quite a package. So why would you buy just an iPod instead? A pesky 2-year contract with AT&T is probably enough of a barrier.

In fact, the new iPhone is such a great package that I predict a huge burst in “non-contract iPhone 3Gs” being sold online at places like eBay and Craigslist. It’s pretty simple to get out of mobile phone contracts. You can find guides all over the internet on what to say. Awhile ago, I used the excuse that I was moving to Maine (where Verizon service was limited). If they can’t provide their service, they have to let you out (with no penalty to me). I’m not sure if that still works, but some simple google searches reveal many other methods.

So the question may be, how many times can you pull that on AT&T? Well there is nothing that says you can’t open multiple contracts at the same time, so buy 5 phones (for your family) and then use a contract breaking excuse. Then sell them on eBay for $100 over the buy price (brand new, never used!) and make a $500 profit. Repeat.

You’re going to have to find fake Prada bags and Rolexes somewhere else — cops did a major crackdown of shops in Chinatown.

But don’t fret too much, there are still a few people walking around, whispering in your ear, “prada prada, gucci, movado?”

I think the iPhone is iconic enough that people can recognize when you’re holding it upside-down.

It is especially funny when it’s a product placement in a television show. After seeing Minnie Driver hold the iPhone upside-down at least 3 times within the last 2 episodes of “The Riches”, I figured I’d post it. Or am I just wayyy too into technology?

This is an open letter to the FCC’s Public Safety and Homeland Security Bureau

The current Emergency Alert System takes advantage of tv networks to deliver crucial information in the event of an emergency.

As someone who spends much more time online instead of watching tv, I would like to propose a new system that is more in sync with today’s technology.

There should be a national Email Emergency Alert System (EEAS) that people can voluntarily sign up for. E-mailing the list would be reserved only for Emergencies. The user can also optionally give their zip code so that the EEAS could additionally give local emergency information (such as a tornado touching down or a flash flood warning)

The service could also be created in such a way that other departments could initiate an emergency, allowing for a decentralized alert system that can quickly reach the people it needs to reach.

Please seriously consider this enhancement to an archaic system. And please, whatever you do, do not send out test e-mails that test the system. We’ll get them.

Sincerely,

Billy Chasen
billychasen.com

Here’s something you may not know about New York City. Bars need a special permit for dancing. The signage for it is still hilarious to see.

I took this in a pub last night.

I wonder what their definition of dancing is. Would they escort me out if I start bobbing my head?

According to this article:

Nightclubs are also restricted in zoning, meaning cabaret licenses are only granted to venues in major commercial centers, industrial or manufacturing districts, effectively making it illegal to dance in any residential area. In 1960 there were 12,000 cabaret licenses in the five boroughs. Now, in 2006, there are less than 200.

The permit process is long, costly and uncertain. Approval is required from the Department of Consumer Affairs, the NYC Planning Commission, the Fire Department, Buildings Departments and local community boards, among others, all of whom work independently of each other.”

Much has been said about TSA’s silly liquid rules, but now as I am set to leave SXSW in Austin, I realized my deodorant is 4oz. TSA allows you to pack as many containers as you want into a 1 quart ziplock bag (which is 32oz). But none of those internal containers can be bigger than 3oz. Yes, it hurts my head to think about.