Chase has figured out how to recoup their losses, and it’s ingenious. Don’t give out money, but pretend like you did.

Let me explain.

I went to an ATM today and requested forty dollars. I don’t know if I’m the only one, but every time I’m at an ATM I have an irrational fear that it’ll screw up the counting and nobody will believe me when I try to correct the mistake. I always think this, but of course, it has never happened.

Today was worse. It said, “Please take your cash” and did not give me anything to take. I didn’t request a receipt, because they always end up in the trash two seconds later.

A woman saw my confusion and said, “Did it not give you your money? That happened to me. You need to make like 10 calls to your bank, a few calls to the number on the ATM and it’s all super annoying, but you’ll eventually get your money back.”

I went into the Duane Reade that houses the ATM (for those who don’t know, Duane Reade is like a CVS or Walgreens) and told the manager that the machine was broken.

He said, “Sorry, we can’t put a sign on the ATM. Chase doesn’t allow us to.”

I was stunned. Not only do I have to go through this hassle, but every person for the rest of the day will also get screwed.

Now, here’s the best part. The fact that you have to jump through hurdles to get your money back makes it just like mail-in rebates. There’s simply some percentage of people that will not bother or forget about it. At that point, it’s turned into free money for Chase. Woo! Financial crisis over.

I don’t actually believe this was their motive, but it’s quite ridiculous that they won’t allow employees to mark the machine out of order. Then again, are banks sleazy enough to have thought this through?

You’re going to have to find fake Prada bags and Rolexes somewhere else — cops did a major crackdown of shops in Chinatown.

But don’t fret too much, there are still a few people walking around, whispering in your ear, “prada prada, gucci, movado?”

Here’s something you may not know about New York City. Bars need a special permit for dancing. The signage for it is still hilarious to see.

I took this in a pub last night.

I wonder what their definition of dancing is. Would they escort me out if I start bobbing my head?

According to this article:

Nightclubs are also restricted in zoning, meaning cabaret licenses are only granted to venues in major commercial centers, industrial or manufacturing districts, effectively making it illegal to dance in any residential area. In 1960 there were 12,000 cabaret licenses in the five boroughs. Now, in 2006, there are less than 200.

The permit process is long, costly and uncertain. Approval is required from the Department of Consumer Affairs, the NYC Planning Commission, the Fire Department, Buildings Departments and local community boards, among others, all of whom work independently of each other.”

Here is a great idea in theory, but the execution falls short. There are billboards in the subway that allow you to plug in your headphones and listen to John Legend’s CD. Neat idea, right?

Someone (I swear it wasn’t me) decided to pull off the protective cover and take the contents. I wonder what type of device the thief nabbed. Photos below:

UPDATE: The batteries that were left over are now gone too!

Jay DeDapper read my post about hacking a New York city taxi and did a more investigative piece about the potential unauthorized access. The Taxi and Limousine Commission claims everything has been fixed and is highly unlikely to happen again. However, Jay and his producer both had error messages in their cabs within the past week (and I’m sure others have) too.

Watch the video here or by clicking the screenshot below:

You can also read their article about it too.